Downfall
by Rogue Fox
Summary: YAOI AND SHONENAI! When you've know the joys of companionship, nothing is worse than being alone. Bakura knows this better than most. Can the one he longs for soothe the ache of solitude away? Warning: Lime
1. Chapter 1

Downfall

By: Rogue Fox

A/N: Pish. Seems like all I can turn out anymore is sappy romance. Grr… Anyway, I swear that this well get better, I kind of just have to warm myself up to it… Plus I kind of dislike fics where two characters are just suddenly going at it out of the blue… The chase is half the fun! So yeah, technicalities… Um, this is told in Ryou's POV by default, and if I decide to switch I'll let you know. Also, yamis have their own bodies because it's so much easier to get them into adult situations that way. No complaints? Good. I warn you now, this may not be yet, but it will become very, very mature, and there will be a great deal of yaoi and shonen-ai. Guy-on-guy, folks. Just warning you… I discovered the meaning of shonen-ai on accident, and now here I am… So, read and enjoy!

Somewhere downstairs, my yami was throwing a temper tantrum at some appliance while Yami Yugi laughed insanely and Yugi scolded him for it. There was a sudden crash and what sounded uncannily LIKE electric wires fizzing and a long moment of silence.

" Yami! What was that?" I called down the stairs.

" Ah, damn, um… The Pharaoh did it!" my yami called back. I smiled to myself and put the last of the towels into the linen closet. Yugi wasn't coming up the stairs to get me, so it couldn't be that bad.

" I did not! The Tomb Robber did it!" Yami Yugi was quick to correct him. I came down the stairs to see the stereo in many pieces on the floor and crackling dangerously. Both the present yamis looked up at me with a mixture of fear and amusement and pointed to each other.

" He did it, I saw him." They both assured me. I twisted my face into a pout as Yugi crossed his arms, trying not to snicker.

" What a mess. But I need to go change the laundry… Who'll clean it up?" I asked, focusing the force of my pout on my own yami.

" I will!" they both volunteered then turned to glare at each other. " Hey, back off!" The end result was they both scrambled around picking up the mess while they bickered like an old married couple as Yugi and I enjoyed a nice cup of tea.

" You've got that down to an art." Yugi complimented me. I smiled.

" It's easy with those two. They're so busy trying to show each other up that they can be fooled into anything." I said.

" Yeah. When do you think they'll hook up?" Yugi asked. I sipped my tea and shrugged.

" When one of them just can't take the sexual tension any longer." I answered honestly, then grimaced. " Oh, bad mental image." Yugi mimicked my expression.

" Yeah, nasty." We sat for a moment in silence and sipped our tea. " So, how about you?"

" What about me?" I asked.

" Is there anyone you want to hook up with?" Yugi asked. I smiled at him.

" Yeah, you. You're just soooo hot." I told him. Yugi flashed me a surprisingly coy grin.

" I won't cheat on Anzu, even though you're not so bad yourself." He said through his smile. " Seriously, though. Is there anyone?"

" I was serious." I said, carefully keeping my face totally deadpan. Yugi's mouth fell open, and I laughed. " Heh, you're so gullible." Yugi made a face at me followed by a rude gesture. " No, not really, Yugi, and I am being serious this time. I just don't think there's room in my life right now for someone, you know what I mean?"

" No." Yugi said, shaking his head.

" Well, I've got all my friends and my yami and my dad, when he's home. Life's not bad since things calmed down. My yami's calmed down a lot, and you guys are the best. I like my life the way it is right now." I explained.

" Now? It's so boring." Yugi said, making a face at me.

" Yeah, it is. That's why I like it." I said. I smiled into my tea cup. " Today was exactly what I expected it to be, of course, permitting for little surprises like the stereo. And tomorrow will be exactly what I expect it to be too, aside from whatever my yami blows up. My stomach's full and the only thing that hurts on me is the crick in my neck I got from sleeping on it wrong, and I'm warm and safe. I'm also confident that the people I care about are too. I guess I'm content, and I don't want to mess it up. There's no one I like like that, and I'm not looking for anyone. I'm happy the way I am. I don't think I'd complain if it stayed this way forever." Yugi shook his head.

" Whatever floats your boat." He said.

" What about you? Are you and Anzu doing okay?" I asked.

" You know, I don't know. She's so clingy one minute, and then she wants nothing to do with me the next. Sometimes I don't think we're going to be going out much longer. I think she's still crushing on Yami." He said.

" To be honest, I can't say I'm surprised. I've always thought you could do better." I said. Yugi shrugged. " Does it bother you?"

" Not as bad as I thought it would. I used to be so head-over-heels for her, and now I'm just not feeling it, you know? I guess it might be better to just cut it off before we both wind up getting hurt. I still care about her, and I don't want to see her hurt, but I don't think I'm in love with her." Yugi sighed. " If I end it now, we could both move on to bigger and better things."

" You know the drill, Yugi. Do what you feel is right for you." I said, smiling. Yugi returned my smile.

" You're always so level, Ryou. It doesn't matter how weird or chaotic life gets, you're always calm and in control. You always know just what to say and how to help people figure their problems out." He told me, and I shrugged off his praise.

" That's not true at all." I protested. " I'm awkward and shy and I scare easy. When life gets weird or crazy I'm just as freaked out as everyone else."

" You just deal with it better." Yugi finished. " One way or another, Ryou, you're a good friend, and I appreciate you always letting me and my yami come over here. It's nice to have someone to talk to. Yami's always muttering to himself about something or rather, and he's really not that much help in matters of love anyway."

" I should be thanking you. I mean, really, would you really want to stay cooped up with him all day?" I said, gesturing to the living room, where my yami was contemplating the chandelier with a very scary look on his face. " Don't even think about it!" I called to him. He looked back at me with an expression on his face not unlike a deer caught in the headlights. Yugi's yami thought this was the funniest thing this side of the Nile and guffawed loudly, which my yami naturally tackled him for, which naturally led to a very violent and offensively-articulated wrestling match which naturally led to the shattering of a set of china. Thankfully, it was not the real set of china that my mother inherited from her grandmother. That set was safely hidden in an undisclosed spot. The set that now lay in several thousand pieces was the decoy set I bought a number of years ago for the exact purpose of protecting the original set from violent, creatively cursing, wrestling yamis. Yugi shot me a frightened look, but then seeing how calm I was, decided that nothing too precious had been broken.

" Now, who's going to replace that set?" I asked, pouting.

Several hours and one shopping trip to replace a set of china later, I lay on the couch with a good book in front of me. It was a romance novel. I find that every now and again, I crave a nice, mushy romance. The kind of thing that could give you cavities. I believe the slang for it is "fluff." Momentarily bored with my reading, I put the book open to the page I was on face down on my chest. I'd never been in love, not really. Crushes, sure, who doesn't have one at some point? But I'd never really been in love. I could barely remember my mother and father together, so I didn't even know if I'd ever witnessed two people really in love. I'd been kissed, sure. I kissed a girl when I was in third grade (on a dare, for those of you that are curious), and I'd been kissed since then, though not by a girl. I stared blankly at the ceiling. It seemed like so much work. Running a house with a yami in it is a lot of work, but I love my yami, so I do it. Not love love, but like brother love. I wondered if real love was something like that, being willing to do things you wouldn't otherwise do for someone. But that sounded more like a family kind of thing. But from my reading, this was not at all like a family thing. It was more like an obsession. I didn't know if I wanted to obsess over someone, or have someone obsess over me. A yami is bad enough, thank you. I sighed and glanced at the clock. It was getting late, so I picked up my book and went up the stairs to my room, where I curled up on my bed to continue reading. I'd already showered and my hair was still wet from it, and I was looking forward to reading until I was ready to drop off into sleep. However, I was barely into my reading before my door slammed open and my yami stormed in, flopped face first on my bed, and heaved a dramatic sigh.

" Hello, yami." I said, smiling as I marked my place in my book. Yami grunted his greeting. " Did you have a good day?" I asked pleasantly. Yami grinned into my comforter.

" It was damned awful, you know that." He told me.

" Was it? Didn't seem that bad to me." I noted.

" Yeah well, that's cause you're a hikari. Always gotta look on the bright side." This was the way our nightly conversation always began, with his insistence that his day had been bad. It was a comfortable routine that I had enjoyed with my yami for years. Yami was easy for me to talk to, he understood me better than anyone else I knew, and I was always happy to be able to return the favor for him. " Dinner was really something today, Aibou. You make the best steak." Out of all the praise I get, I appreciate my yami's the most. Praise is not something he gives for no reason, and he has really high standards. Especially where food, steak in particular, is concerned.

" Just the way you like it. Practically raw." I said with a grimace.

" It was delicious." Yami said blissfully.

" I'm glad you liked it. Thank you, by the way, for doing the dishes." I said.

" No problem. Occasionally I do take it to my head to actually do something useful around here." He said flippantly.

" Think you will tomorrow?" I asked.

" Don't push your luck, hikari." He growled. I smiled at our playful banter. I was always most comfortable with him. It was in my yami's presence that I felt most safe, most at home, most me, if that makes any sense.

" Yami?" I asked. Again, he grunted in response. " Have you ever been in love?" Momentarily phased, my yami was silent and still for a moment. Then, he rolled over to give me a serious look.

" What the hell brought that up?" he asked.

" I was just thinking about it. That's all." I said.

" Are you reading those sappy women's novels again?" Yami asked accusingly.

" Oh, what's that got to do with it?" I asked in return.

" Everything. You're a fairy, Aibou." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

" Quit evading the question, will you?" I asked. He grunted and for a long moment, that seemed to be the only response that I was going to get.

" Yeah, I have." He said finally.

" Really? With who?" I asked, and got a glare in return. " Fine. What was it like?"

" Why do you want to know?" he asked. His mood had taken a sour turn.

" Because I've never been in love and I'm curious." I answered honestly.

" You don't think this is love?" Yami asked, gesturing to the two of us playfully. I smiled at him.

" Of course it is. But you know what I mean." I said.

" Yeah, I do." Yami agreed, rolling onto his back and putting his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling for a long moment. " I don't know how to describe it, Aibou. It's not like anything else. It's like… They're all you can think about, you know? All you can see. When they're with you, your whole world seems right. When you hold them and they hold you, everything is peaceful. When they're gone, you hurt. You ache. You want them back and you'll do whatever you have to to get them back. Seeing them happy is everything to you. Their pleasure is yours, and so is their pain. You want to share everything that you have with them, and share in their pain and triumph and sorrow and joy. I guess it's not that much different than being hikari and yami. It's not better or worse, but it is on a totally different level." He said. I mulled this over for a moment.

" Are you in love right now?" I asked.

" With you and only you." He answered, grinning. I knew he didn't mean that like some people would take it. We loved each other, but it was more like a brotherly love.

" No one else?" I asked.

" Well, define love." He requested.

" Not a shag-buddy." I said easily. Yami grinned. " Someone you really care about and they care about you in return. Someone that you feel for like you were talking about."

" Then no, not really." He answered. I thought about Yugi's yami. Would they ever really hook up? " I'm very faithful, aibou, you know that."

" Yes I do." I agreed. My yami was faithful to me, even though I most certainly never asked it of him. He was too faithful, and to a person who wanted him to fall in love, for real.

" You're so sappy, aibou, let's stop talking about this." Yami said. I nodded at him and smiled for his reassurance. " I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning, Aibou." He said cheerfully, hopping off my bed and leaving the room, looking just as cocky and self-assured as always. Just like the day I first met him.

I think at this point I should elaborate on my relationship with my yami. I've made it clear that there's nothing romantic at all between us, and I'll reiterate it. There's not. A lot of people are under the delusion that there is. I think that's kind of weird, and I know for a fact that I would be totally weirded out kissing someone that looked almost just like me. Kind of narcissistic, you know? Not that I don't think my yami is good looking, but his physical attractiveness is something I appraise the way I appraise my own, objectively and not emotionally attached. Anyway, I met my yami when I was nine years old. My mother and sister had both just died in a horrific car wreck, and my dad was not dealing with the loss well, to say nothing for me. My father was gone for weeks, months even, at a time. While he was gone, he was totally immersed in his work, and when he was home, he was either drowning himself in booze or sleeping, so I began a very lonely childhood. The fact that I was small and had never had to care for myself before led to some problems, the most imminent being that my father rarely left enough food in the cabinets, and though he often left money, he was always gone longer than he'd originally planned, so the money never lasted long enough. I was nine and had no food and no way of getting food. I was ashamed to go to a charity and ask for it, and I was scared that if I did they might take me away from my father, and even though he was never home, I couldn't bear that. My clothes were always in a state of neglect, for the washing machine and the dryer were a mystery wrapped in an enigma to me, and I was still working on unwrapping the enigma. So thought I was able to keep myself groomed acceptably, I could not figure out a sufficient way to keep my clothes from smelling. I tried washing them in the kitchen sink, which led to some rather undesirable results… I was also thin as a rail, and my bone clearly showed through my skin. The only time I ate was at school, where my lunches were paid for in advance. I remember being truly scared of what summer vacation would mean. My total focus was on food, because food meant survival. I began to horde canned foods, rather than eating them. I knew that I wouldn't starve as long as school was in, I got one meal a day plus whatever my teacher, who seemed to guess what was going on, gave me. So, I horded what I could from the supplies I bought with the little money Dad gave me, all non-perishable items, things that would last. It didn't matter what it was, so long as I could eat it. Summer vacation came, and I ate as little as I possibly could without looking like a skeleton. About midway though, my father came home for not even a whole hour. I wasn't expecting him, the house was a mess, I was a mess, and I was hungry. I was also depressed and angry.

" The house is a mess, Ryou." He said suddenly. I leapt up from the couch where I had been watching TV.

" Dad, you're home, I didn't…" I tried to explain, but my voice trailed off as he drifted through the living room, obviously not listening.

" The maid's not doing her job… I'll call the agency for sure this time…" he muttered.

" We don't have a maid, Dad." I said. He didn't seem to hear me.

" I can't stay for long. But I brought you something, Ryou. I saw it and thought it was perfect for you." He paused and fished a package from the bag that hung from his shoulder. The look on his face was heartbreaking. So unbearably sad and hopeful. He handed me the package and I forced myself to smile. I hated him, but I understood his pain. I hated that he could lose himself so much that he could forget that he had a son who was practically starving. But I loved that he still thought of me sometimes, though not at the right times, and that he still wanted to make me happy, though in the wrong ways. It made me so mad, but I at least understood. And even then, I knew that understanding comes first, and forgiveness comes later. Dad left soon after, seeming to have forgotten all about me. I knew he would drink himself into a stupor on his plane and then lose himself in his work. I took my gift up to my room, where I slowly unwrapped it. And so begins history, kiddos. Honestly, my first thought of the Millennium Ring was whether or not I could sell it and buy food. I took it into my hands and wondered how my father could have thought it was perfect for me. It seemed so big. Kind of awkward. Nonetheless, I put it around my neck and changed the course of my life and destiny forever.

The spirit who took my surname as his own name came into my life like fire and brimstone. He angrily interrogated me about where we were and when we were, then rampaged over the house, and although I knew I should have been afraid, I couldn't quite make the connection between him and fear. I sensed that he meant me no harm. Now, I should explain that I was a very intellectual kid. I knew a lot for my age. I began to try to compartmentalize what was happening to me. I decided that my loneliness and frustration had driven me to create an "imaginary friend" who was meaner and tougher than me, and would also give me some companionship. And then the person I would come to know as my yami sat me down and told me how it came to be that he was with me, as he best knew his own history at the time. He didn't know much, and I still didn't think he was real. A few weeks went by, and I was running out of food. As much as I analyzed that I had created my yami and he was a figure of my imagination, I didn't want him to leave. He was angry and violent and scary, but with him, I wasn't alone. So I didn't sell the Ring. He had said he came from it, so I kept it. One day, he found me in the kitchen regarding my meager rations.

" Where's the food?" he asked.

" Do you eat?" I asked in return, regarding him curiously.

" You're a strange kid. You'd think you'd be scared shitless of me. But you just act like I'm some curiosity. And yes, I do eat." He said in response.

" You're no older than me." I muttered. He snorted.

" Try a couple millenniums older. Anyway, where's the food?"

" This is it." I said. If he was stuck with me, he might as well be aware of my predicament.

" What? That? No way!" he said, shoving past me to stare hard at the cans. I wondered if his knew what cans were, and that they held food. " Kid, that ain't much." He said, looking back at me with a scrutinizing expression. " You sure are skinny. Too skinny. I thought you said you had a father."

" I do." I said, looking down.

" Where the hell is he?" the other me asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

" He's… working." I said, ashamed that I was admitting this. I really felt like I shouldn't tell, like I was disobeying or dishonoring my father.

" He's not here? He went off on some… what? Dig? To dig shit up? While he son stays here alone and starves? What kind of man…?" I wondered how he knew all that. I hadn't told him. Could he really read my mind, like he claimed? " Alright, now you listen up, kid. Look at me. I said look! Thank you. Alright, I don't like you. Not right now. You're a sniveling little brat with no spine right now. And you're not going to change for a while yet. But I happen to know what you can become with my help. I happen to have been able to meet the man you'll become someday. He's a pretty good guy, or will be, I guess. I'm going to like him a lot, just like I always have. Now listen good. It's not your fault." I was suddenly aware I was crying. " You can't blame yourself for anything. You're just a kid, for gods' sake. You can't blame yourself that your dad doesn't know how to handle his grief, and you sure as hell can't blame yourself for what happened to your mom and your sister. You don't deserve to live like this. You don't deserve to starve. I wouldn't treat a dog like this. Now, you've had some pretty bad shit happen here, and grief is natural. It's a part of life. This ain't natural, kid. You're made of tougher stuff than even you realize, and you're going to get through this, and we'll make a man out of you yet. Now you sit tight, and think about it, okay?" With that, he turned and left.

He returned several hours later with his arms full of groceries that he later admitted to having stolen. That night, I had a hot meal for the first time in a long time. We had steak, and it was the most delicious, albeit unseasoned, thing I'd ever eaten. The other me told me loud and funny stories about the times he'd met me before, in my past lives, and about the adventures we had. I liked him. I liked him a lot. He became my friend.

Back in the present, I blinked and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. I had to learn to accept my yami, with all his quirks and flaws, as my own, as he so effortlessly seemed to accept me. But I loved him for who he was. I fell asleep later, and slept a long, peaceful sleep.

Morning came, and I woke up easily enough. I went downstairs and made breakfast, smiling to myself as I did. Another day in my own peaceful paradise. After Battle City and whatever you would call what happened after that (the whole thing with the yamis' memories), life toned down a lot. Things went back to normal, or as normal as they ever got. Yugi may have been bored, but I was content. My yami staggered into the kitchen and flopped into a chair at the table.

" Good morning, Yami." I said. He grunted.

" What's for breakfast?" he asked.

" Eggs and bacon." I told him.

" Mmm… Good ol' eggs and bacon." Came his pleased response.

" Remember how when we first met, you had to steal food for us?" I asked suddenly. My yami's eyes darkened a little. He'd never been able to forgive my father for that.

" Yeah." He said simply.

" When will I be that man that you talked about?" I asked him, and he laughed suddenly.

" Oi, you still remember that? You were just a kid!" he said, smiling warmly at me.

" Sure I still remember." I said.

" You are that man, Ryou. You have been for a while. Well, not quite, but you never have been exactly the same twice. But the most basic parts of you are there." Yami said quietly.

" What parts?" I asked.

" Level. Calm. Kind. Generous. Right-handed. Perfect vision. Laugh like a child. Innocent look. Not-so-innocent temper. Intelligent. Perceptive. White hair. Birth mark on your right shoulder blade." He listed. " Little stuff. You don't always have the same colored eyes. Yugi always had the same color eyes, but not you. I always liked brown best, though. Let's see… You always like to cook, except once, but you were a brat that time… You're always out of Europe, and all but twice from England. You always sleep on your right side. You always like animals, and you're always into the occult, which almost got you burned at the stake a couple of times. And you always…" he suddenly stopped.

" What? I always what?" I asked. Yami just smiled.

" I'll tell you when you're ready to know." He told me. I frowned.

" I hate it when you do that." I growled at him.

" Ah, go call someone who cares, Aibou." He told me in response. I slammed his plate in front of him. " Ooh! Food!" he said, grabbing a fork (yes, we do use western silverware in my house, usually) and began to chow down. I smiled in pride as he yelped in pain and his eyes watered. " Hot!"

" Watch out, it's still hot." I said. He glared at me and opened his mouth to say something, but just then the doorbell rang. " I'll get it." I volunteered quickly, darting out of the kitchen. The kitchen is right near the foyer, so I didn't have to go far to get to the door. I pulled it open quickly and smiled brightly. " Hello, how may I-" my smile faded into shock as I saw who our visitors were.

" Hey, Ryou! Long time no see!" Malik Ishtar announced, Isis to his left and his wild-looking yami leaning on his right shoulder.

I had a feeling my day was not going to go as I had expected it to.


	2. Chapter 2

Downfall

By: Rogue Fox

A/N: Hello, sorry it took so long to update. For an explanation, visit my bio. :sigh: so tired… Anyway, I used a song in this one, _Ever The Same_, by Rob Thomas. I claim the song in no way, I just used it to set the mood. And that's all it was for. I don't intend for this fic to be too terribly long, so forgive me if the plot seems to be moving kind of fast. So, on with the fic!

" Amazing. You've always had the most uncanny timing, Malik." I said, slipping a plate of eggs in front of him, and then remembered he was vegetarian. " Oh, do you eat eggs?" I asked.

" On occasion. Never liked 'em much, but I have yet to eat something you made that I didn't like." He said in response.

" Enough, you'll make me blush." I said.

" It's true, Ryou. You really are an amazing cook." Isis said as I handed her a plate.

" All right, start talking. Would it really have been so bad to give me a call before popping up on my doorstep?" I asked. " Not that I mind, but if you'd called, I could have something a little better fixed, and had the rooms ready…"

" Malik!" Isis shrilled, and Malik swallowed his food too quickly.

" Ah! It's good, Ryou!" he sputtered.

" You said you called!" Isis continued.

" I did?"

" Yes, you did."

" Oh." Malik smiled brightly at his sister. " Um, my bad."

" Oh, you are impossible." Isis sighed. " I'm so sorry, Ryou, Malik was supposed to call and ask if it was alright if we stayed with you while we found a place." Isis explained, punctuating her words with a nasty glare in Malik's direction.

" Found a place?" I asked, hoping to deter Isis from launching into one of her infamous tirades.

" Oh, yeah, you wouldn't know, would you?" Malik said, using his foot to hold Isis at bay while he shoveled food into his mouth. If I hadn't seen the same sight on numerous occasions before, I'd have either been amazed at Malik's dexterity or at Isis's strength. " We've decided to move to Domino. Gotta love Egypt, but it's kind of depressing now, and plus all our friends are here. Gods above, Isis, get the hell off me!" he cried, giving Isis a shove with his foot. " Anyway, we need a place to crash until we find a place of our own, and we hoped you wouldn't mind?"

" Not at all." I answered, smiling. " Yami's been kind of lonely lately, and you're always welcome anyway."

" Awesome!" Malik gushed. " Dibs on the guest room upstairs, the one next to the bathroom!"

I guess you can see that the Ishtars have lodged with my yami and I before.

" I can't tell you how much this means to us." Isis sighed. " You can imagine how well Malik's yami and hotels mix." I most certainly could. I shuddered. Just then, the doorbell rang.

" Ah, that must be the luggage." Malik said, swinging his legs over his chair. I smiled as he left the room.

" I'm so, so sorry!" Isis wailed.

" Forget it." I said, waving her apologies off. " It's nice to have you guys back." Malik reentered the room, a couple pieces of luggage with him.

" Better get yours, Isis." He said, then turned to me. " Hey, Ryou, let's go clubbing! Isis's treat!"

" What!" Isis shrilled.

And that is how I wound up sipping a Coke and watching my yami chase Yugi's yami while hissing something in Egyptian that sounded very sinister. Malik's yami jumped in and grabbed them both, dragging both of them onto the dance floor, where Jou and Mai were doing something that looked like it should never, ever be preformed in public. Isis and Seto Kaiba were talking about something way over my head to my left, and Yugi had disappeared with Anzu, and I'd lost track of where Malik had gotten to. He's a very active person. Unfortunately, he also has the absolute worst luck combined with the best timing, so I've always thought it wise to keep an eye on him. That, and I've always found it hard to take my eyes off him. Something about Malik just holds your attention. Almost as though on cue, Malik suddenly appeared in front of me.

" Hey, Ryou, whatcha drinking?" he asked, investigating my glass. " Rum and Coke?"

" No, just Coke." I said.

" No rum? Where's the fun in that?" he asked. I just smiled at him and he turned to look at the crowd we'd arrived with. " Well, they're all pretty well slammed. So I'll have just a Coke too."

" Why?" I asked.

" Well, it doesn't seem fair if you have to be the only one sober, so I'll be sober with you!" he said brightly. Then he looked worried. " You don't seem like your having much fun, Ryou."

" I am. I like watching everyone dance and have a good time. I'm just not so good at it myself. I'm a really bad dancer and I don't drink." I explained, looking down at my glass.

" That won't do. Nope, that won't do at all." Malik said. " Let's go dance."

" Huh? No, uh, that's okay. I don't dance." I said. Malik reached over and grabbed my drink, downed it, and put the glass on the bar. Then he offered me that slightly insane grin that has never failed to turn my knees to jelly.

" Aw, come on. It won't kill you. Besides, you might actually like it." He said.

" I… I don't know how…" I protested weakly as he grabbed my hands and pulled me away from the safety of the bar.

" That's just what people say when they're too shy! Everyone can dance! You just gotta move, that's all!" Malik said, dragging me out onto the floor amidst a swaying crowd of people with some rap-ish song I'd never heard playing. " Okay, let's see what you've got." Malik said, facing me. I simply stared back him. In all honesty, I was waiting for his short attention span to kick in, so he'd turn his head long enough for me to escape back to the bar. " Okay, that was boring." I shrugged.

" I told you, I don't dance." I said, mildly annoyed. Malik just smiled.

" Look, it's not hard, just move to the music." Malik explained. I gave him a blank look. " Oh, I know you've got a sense of rhythm, I've seen it!"

" When?" I asked.

" Back when I stayed with you guys last time, you know, when Isis kicked me out of the house." Malik said. " You were really grooving in the living room."

" You saw that!" I shrilled.

" Sure. You looked hot." Malik said, like that was the most natural thing in the world to say. Fortunately, I had enough grace to let that roll off my back.

" Yeah, well, that was when no one was watching!" I cried.

" I was watching." Malik said.

" I didn't know you were, and that makes all the difference." I said.

" So are you saying that you're not comfortable enough with me to dance in front of me?" Malik asked, pouting a little. Well, that put me in a rough position. Just then, my yami snuck up from behind and shoved me, sending me sprawling into Malik's chest, where he casually caught me and held me against his chest while I regained my footing.

" Arguing with him doesn't work. His skull's thick as a brick wall." My wonderful, loving, traitorous yami explained. " You gotta force him." That said, the traitor casually sauntered up behind me and sandwiched me in between himself and Malik, grabbed me by the waist to make sure I didn't run off, and began to grind against me. Yes, grind. I was leaving, and that was final.

" Oh, no way! No friggin' way! Let me go, let me go!" I yelled, trying to back away, but Malik had gotten in on the action. He grabbed my hips just below my yami's hands and began to mimic my yami motions, except I was facing him so it was much more embarrassing. " Oh gods! Get off me!" I cried, surprised by the laughter that came out of my throat. " I'm gonna scream rape, and you know I will!" I shrieked, struggling to get out from in between them. My yami back away then, gasping for breath in between his own gales of laughter.

" Dance with blondie, Aibou, or else I'll do it again." He threatened me.

" Blondie?" Malik asked, a slight tone of annoyance in his voice. Just then, Malik's yami arrived.

" Whoo, you two were getting some action. This, I have got to see." The larger, meaner, and generally more dangerous version of Malik announced. " Next time, I want some."

" Oh, gods…" I moaned. Malik laughed and I wheeled around, slammed my forehead against his chest, and began attempting to blindly smash my fists against his face, which only increased his laughter. " This is all your fault! This is so embarrassing!"

" Hey, you two." Malik said suddenly, addressing the two yamis. " I think I see Yami Yugi over there. He looks like he's drunk off his ass."

Yamis can really move fast sometimes. I suppose the promise of torturing a very drunk and otherwise defenseless former Pharaoh serves as a good stimulus.

" There. Now will you dance with me?" Malik asked, and I looked up at him in disbelief. " What? I got them to leave."

" I don't dance." I reaffirmed.

" Oh, enough of that. You sound like a broken record." Malik said, approaching me and grabbing my hips again. I wasn't going through that again, so I started to try to back away but he just pulled me closer. " Okay, step one is relax." He muttered in my ear. " It's just me, and I'm not going to bite you, so just relax." I tried to obey, but it was hard. Only my yami had ever been so close to me before, and Malik was indeed very, very close. His breath smelled like cinnamon and Coke, which strangely didn't smell that bad at all.

" This is so embarrassing. I just know I'm gonna look like an idiot." I whispered to him.

" Who cares if you do? I can already tell you that you look like even more of an idiot just standing here in the middle of a crowd of people dancing, and anyway, you could stand here and pick your nose and still look better than Honda and Jou on their best days." A snort of a laugh escaped me. Malik was always like that, so bluntly honest and calm that I couldn't help but loosen up with him. " Besides, the only one watching you is me." He said quietly. I nodded. " Okay, now, listen to the music." I obeyed. It was a soft, innocent sounding song by an American singer. I wasn't sure if Malik spoke English, but I did, and I recognized the song, although I couldn't remember the singer to save my life.

_We were drawn from the weeds_

_We were brave like soldiers_

_Falling down under the pale moonlight_

_You were holding to me, _

_Like someone broken_

And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now 

" Good, now step a little closer to me." I did so. " Good. Okay, now put your arms around me." I looked up at him, curious, nervous, and more than a little embarrassed. " Look, like this, see?" he said, putting his own arms around me. I mimicked his motion, so that the two of us were standing with our arms around each other's waists, our heads bowed together and almost touching. Malik, by the way, is about a head taller than me. " Okay, we're not going to do anything crazy, we're just going to sway back and forth… Like this… Yeah, you got it. See, it's not so hard."

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you so we both fall down_

_Fall on me_

_Tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you, forever in me_

_Ever the same_

We continued to sway back and forth, our heads just barely touching, turning in a slow circle. I watched Malik's face the whole time, watching for some sign of laughter or amusement that was usually so dominant on his face. But he was quiet. He face was pensive, almost as though in pain, and I wanted to reach out and touch it, remind him I was there, with him…

_We would stand in the wind_

_We were free like water_

_Flowing down_

_Under the warmth of the sun_

_Now it's cold and we're scared_

_And we've both been shaken_

_Look at us_

_Man, this doesn't need to be the end_

" Malik?" I asked quietly. He opened his eyes and smiled at me, but it wasn't like his usual smile.

" Yeah?"

" Something wrong?" I asked. His grip on my waist tightened and he looked so pained… " Did I say something wrong?" I asked. Malik smiled again and shook his head.

" No way. You're great, Ryou. You've never upset me." He assured me. But something had upset him, and in the space of a few moments.

" Then what is it?" I asked. He sighed and looked off from me.

" It's complicated." He told me.

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you so we both fall down_

Just then, there was a horrible crash and cursing in Egyptian.

" Well, that's our cue to leave." Malik said, stepping away from me.

It took some time to round them all up, get Mai and Joey on a bus to their apartment, and get the yamis (by now they were all drunk off their asses) convinced that we needed to go home. Isis told us, with a faint blush on her cheeks, that she was going back to Seto's place to "talk about some business propositions." Malik laughed loudly at this, and I didn't blame him. Isis hadn't been drinking and neither had Seto Kaiba, and yet both were blushing burgundy and unable to meet our eyes. So that's how Yugi, Malik and I wound up herding our drunken, stumbling yamis down the street to Yugi's place. Yugi had only a slight buzz, and Malik and I were sober. Yami Malik didn't make it. He passed out on Yugi's doorstep, where Malik sighed and asked Yugi if his yami could sleep on the couch. Yugi said he didn't care. However, the reason I'm even mentioning this had nothing to do with Yami Malik, but he did unknowingly instigate it. The two still conscious yamis were attempting to drag their comrade into the building, but they wound dropping him and bumping their heads together with a pronounced thump.

" Ow, you stupid, sexy Pharaoh!" My yami yelped, slurring and swaying dangerously. All our collective eyes popped to the size of saucers, but Yami Yugi, who was equally if not more drunk, didn't seem to notice my own yami's choice of words.

" You're the stupid one! Don't talk to me, you're distracting me, I'm supposed to be doing something, not staring at your crotch!" the former Pharaoh cried. Again, we were all stunned. I had no idea how loose lipped yamis were when they were sloshed.

" What are we supposed to be doing?" my yami asked, looking around and failing to notice Yami Malik passed out at his feet.

" Um, I'm not sure… But I think it was boring." And then, Yami Yugi, in all his majesty and regality, hiccupped. Hiccupped and grinned stupidly at my own yami. " You have really pretty hair."

" You both have really pretty eyes." My yami said in response, stumbling a little to the left. " Okay, you two hold still, I'm gonna try to kiss one of you…" Which is exactly what he did, leaning forward and landing on Yami Yugi's lips with remarkably good aim for someone who seemed to be having a great deal of difficult standing. It wasn't much of a kiss, just a chaste meeting of lips that had an undertone of something much deeper, much more profound.

" That was nice." Yami Yugi said as they pulled apart, still grinning like a blooming fool. " Hmmm… Night." He suddenly said, collapsing in a heap at my yami's feet.

" Y-Yami!" Yugi sputtered, somewhere between shock and concern, running to his yami's side. I, in the meantime, went to cut my own yami off, as he was making his unsteady way toward the busy street.

" Just let me… hold you while you're fallin' apart… Just let me hold you… hic… so we both fall down!" he sang loudly and very off key. He stumbled and I barely caught him in time to keep him from falling down. He hiccupped loudly and squinted at me. " Oh, Aibou! How're you?"

" I'm good, Yami, but we need to get you home so you can get some sleep." I said soothingly. Yami grinned at me happily.

" HIC! I meant to tell ya, Aibou… I didn't, um, tell the truth-HIC! You know, about bein' in love." He told me.

" It's okay, Yami, it doesn't matter." I muttered, slipping an arm around his waist and throwing his arm over my shoulders. " Come on, try to walk steady."

" Ooh, everything's all curvy!" he yelled, seemingly delighted. " Everyone's fallin' down, Aibou. Ishtar fell down and so did the Pharaoh." He told me, suddenly serious, almost anxious. " You aren't going to fall down too, are you?"

" Only if you don't trip me." I muttered under my breath, struggling to keep us both up. Fortunately, he didn't hear me. " No, Yami, I'm not going to fall down."

" Good… HIC! I don' want you to fall down. I missed you so much when you fell down last time… HIC! I missed the Pharaoh too… And Ishtar… HIC! Everyone fell down, and I was all alone. I hate – HIC! - being alone. I lied about bein' in love, Aibou."

" It's okay, Yami." I said. I was really having a hard time keeping us both up. Fortunately, just then, Malik ran up to my yami's other side and wrapped an arm around his waist, helping me greatly.

" Well, maybe it wasn't exactly a lie… HIC!" Yami hiccupped again. " You said someone I feel for and feels for me too… The person I – HIC! – feel for doesn't feel for me… He doesn't remember." Just then, he noticed Malik. " Oh, hi, Malik. You haven't fallen down yet either… HIC! That's good, cause you always get there just in time to catch Ryou… He always stumbles, you know, and – HIC! – it always happens when I can't catch him… It's good to know that you'll catch him if I don't. It's good to know…" It looked for a second like he was gonna pass out, but then he woke back up. " Fall on me, tell me everything you want me to be – HIC! – Forever with you, forever in me, forever the sa-ame!" he suddenly burst into song.

" I already got my yami and Yugi's yami into the house, so let's get him home." Malik said to me around Bakura's shoulders. I nodded, and we began to thread our wobbly way home, my yami belting out lyrics from the last song at the club and hiccupping the whole way.

We finally managed to get home, and get a very tired and faintly singing Bakura up the stairs where he promptly collapsed on his bed and passed out in his clothes.

" Oi, what a pain." I muttered. " With any luck he won't remember any of this tomorrow." Malik laughed, but it was a small, short lived one. He had been unusually quiet all the way home, and now that I had the chance to get a good look at him, he looked kind of distraught. " Are you okay?" I asked. Malik nodded at me, a little too enthusiastically.

" Sure. Why don't you go take a shower, and I'll fix us both a snack. Tea for you?" he asked. I nodded, slowly, and then watched as Malik hurried down the stairs. It wasn't like Malik to hurry anywhere. Sometimes he went quickly, but that was more from his abundant energy, not from a need to get there quicker. Malik was quite laid back and relaxed, normally. This side of him seemed too… tense. So I hurried through my shower and came quietly downstairs to the kitchen. There, I could hear the water for my tea heating on the gas stove and the coffee maker brewing. But it was another, softer noise I heard that grabbed my attention. Malik was sitting at the kitchen table, face in his hands, shoulders shaking, and breath coming in pained, ragged gasps. For a long moment, I stood there, still dripping wet, torn between running to comfort him and leaving him in his obviously private pain. I finally decided that any reaction he might give me was better than him thinking I didn't care enough to comfort him. So I went to his side, sat down in the chair next to him, and put my arms around his shoulders. He sat up abruptly, looking at me with anxious, teary eyes.

" Ryou…" he whispered my name, shaking slightly as more tears began to spill down his cheeks and slide off his chin. I reached up gently and wiped them away. He stared at me a moment, and then moved to brush his own tears away himself. " Wow, this is so embarrassing." He muttered shakily.

" So what if it is?" I asked firmly, refusing to let go of him. " There's no one watching you but me, and I won't tell." I smiled up into his pained eyes. " Everyone needs to cry sometimes, and no one really likes to cry alone." Malik seemed to cave in on himself at my words, dropping onto my shoulder and heaving a sob that made my heart clench for him.

_Just let me hold you while you're falling apart_

_Just let me hold you so we both fall down_

_Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you,_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

" It's Bakura. It's your yami." Malik gasped suddenly, even though I hadn't asked anything. " I know it's stupid, but I had this crush on him. It's so stupid… But I thought maybe he might kind of like me, and that was okay, even if he didn't really like me like that. But then, tonight, I saw him with Yugi's yami, and he… I'd never seen him like that before. He could be trying to kill the Pharaoh, and he'd still look like the happiest man alive. And even though I keep telling myself that I knew this was going to happen, and even though I knew it would never be me he cared about like that, here I am. I can't make myself stop crying."

_Call on me_

_I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me_

_Forever it's you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

" Sometimes… you just need to cry." I reaffirmed myself, my heart going out to the blonde Egyptian, who now openly sobbed on my shoulder. We had moved to the couch in the living room, which was a little more private as the kitchen tended to be like the intersection of the house, and a lot more comfortable. All the same… My yami? He'd had a crush on my yami? That stirred up a lot of confused emotions.

" Ryou…" Malik murmured, wrapping his long, strong arms around me and pulling me to his chest. " Forgive me." He whispered, laying back on the couch and pulling me down with him. I lay against his chest, listening to his thudding heart, and he cradled me against him. It wasn't uncomfortable… Just very, very intimate. " I just need to hold onto someone right now."

" I'm glad it's me." I said, smiling into his shirt.

" You're good for me, Ryou. You keep me from falling apart." He whispered. " You carry me when I can't carry myself. I'm sorry for burdening you."

" You're no burden." I whispered, pressing my cheek to his chest. His chest heaved uncontrollably with the last of his sobs. He was so warm…

_You may need me there_

_To carry all your weight_

_But you're no burden I assure_

_You tide me over_

_With a warmth I'll not forget_

_But I can only give you love_

" Someday, when you need someone to carry you, you come to me, okay? I'll carry you." Malik promised me, stroking my hair and hiccupping a little. I nodded again.

" You wouldn't have liked him, anyway, Malik." I assured him. " You think he's rough now, it only gets worse when he's interested." Malik just sighed, bowing his head. A long moment passed, and his breathing became rhythmic and steady. He had fallen asleep. I smiled and snuggled a little closer, relishing in the warmth. I fell asleep with his scent in my nostrils, and it brought me warm, pleasant dreams.

_Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be_

_Forever with you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_

_Call on me_

_I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me_

_Forever it's you_

_Forever in me_

_Ever the same_


	3. Chapter 3

Downfall

By: Rogue Fox

A/N: --;;; Alright. 131 hits, and five reviews? How does that work? I'm seriously considering withholding the next chapter until I get enough reviews. It's written and ready to go… Really, guys, there's a reason we have reviews! It's so writers can get better with the help of constructive criticism! To the people that have reviewed;

Bubble Queen Neko: I'm not sure what you mean… But I think this chapter might answer your question… I hope… I think… ;;

Rapturous Voice: Soon enough for you?

Ai Baka-San Austra: Yes, me and my cliff hangers. Gotta make sure you come back some how.

JitsaruJakara: Oo? Yes, master?

Redconvoy: This should answer your question.

Thank you all very much for your reviews. Be nice. Review. I might update again soon. Be mean, don't review… I have more constructive things to do that this… Like homework… It makes me sad that I can get 131 hits but only five reviews… vv Please help me out here. Here's the story… Really, really sad…

There are many words you could use to describe living with the Ishtars. Uneventful is not one of them. Psychotic might be more appropriate. Random also comes to mind. Unpredictable, bizarre, slightly uncomfortable, weird… Strangely enough, erotic also ends up on that list. Funny how life works, huh?

" Good morning, Ryou!" Malik chirped at me, bouncing into the kitchen. I really can't think of a better way to describe the way he moves. As a matter of fact, I think "bouncing" is really the only way to describe it.

" Good morning, Malik." I answered him as he bounced right up behind me, hugged me around my waist and kissed my cheek. Before anyone reads too much into it, this is how Malik greets everyone. Even Seto Kaiba gets a hug and kiss. I don't know how Malik got it into his head to do that, because Isis isn't very touchy-feely and his yami is quite gruff at times and although I never got to know Rashid, he didn't strike me as that type of person. But Malik is… well, I guess "flamboyant" is the only way to describe him, aside from simply saying that Malik is Malik. Malik is one of those people that the only way to describe him to someone who has never met him is by using Malik himself as an adjective. More outspoken than his yami, more sentimental than his sister… He's really just a strange little bundle of emotions that I couldn't help but love.

" Whatcha making?" he asked, propping his head on my shoulder and keeping his arms around my waist. I leaned back against his chest and tried very, very hard not to think about the fact that a very attractive Malik was pressed against my body very intimately. I was just responding to Malik the way he liked to be responded to; affectionately.

" Pancakes." I said.

" They smell kinda funny." Malik said, sniffing at the pancake on the griddle over my shoulder. I smiled at him, watching his expression out of the corner of my eyes.

" That one's a banana pancake." I said.

_Can't you see that it's just rainin'?_

_There ain't no need to go outside._

_But baby, you hardly even notice_

_When I try to show this_

_Song is meant to keep you_

_From doing what you're supposed to_

_Like waking up too early_

_Maybe we could sleep in_

I'll make you banana pancakes 

" Banana? Pancake? That sounds weird." He told me, looking me square in the eye. I chuckled at his serious expression.

" And that's because they're Bakura's favorite." I told him. I do call my yami Bakura to avoid confusion. Malik calls his own yami Marik and both of us called them other names before we heard the word "yami," since neither of us speak Japanese as our native tongue. Yugi is the only one who initially referred to his other self as Yami, and so, the name stuck. Malik laughed out loud.

" Bakura likes banana pancakes!" he yipped, running out of the kitchen and through the house, giggling and chanting that Bakura liked banana pancakes. I leaned out the kitchen door to watch the show, and waited. Sure enough, right as Malik went by Isis's bedroom, a shoe flew out and hit him dead in the head.

" You woke me up you little brat!" Isis screeched.

" Ow! That hurt! Marik!" Malik yelped in pain. Marik came thundering down the stairs.

" What? I'm in the middle of something very important!" He bellowed.

" Isis threw her shoe at me!" Malik wailed, sitting on the floor with a hand to his head and pointing at Isis room, like a child. I could just see Marik glare at him, to which Malik responded by pouting a little harder.

" Gods above, why I subject myself to this, I don't know…" Marik muttered, turning to the door and approaching said room. Just then, Isis stuck her head out and gave him the most threatening "go to hell and die a thousand bloody deaths on the way" look I'd ever seen. At which point, Marik, all of at least six foot four and over two hundred pounds of what certainly looked like pure muscle, put his hands up and backed slowly away. " You're on your own, hikari." He said, the turned tail and ran. May I remind you that I stand at about five foot two or so and Isis is only an inch or so taller. Isis looked down at Malik, who was still sitting on the floor but whose pout had rapidly become an expression of sheer terror.

" Be. Quiet." She snarled at him. Malik made a small noise, and I quote it to be:

" Eep!" and scurried off. Isis, satisfied, ducked back into her room and slammed the door.

" Did someone say banana pancakes?" my own yami hollered down the stairs, and I could hear Isis growl all the way in the kitchen.

" Ooh! Banana pancakes!" Marik cried, coming barreling into the kitchen. I laughed at his eager expression.

" There's some ready over there but leave some for 'Kura!" I said.

" Ooh, yay! And the syrup's even warm!" Marik cried. He looked at me with tearful eyes. " Ryou is so good to us…" I felt myself blush and laughed his praise off.

" Just leave some for Bakura." I repeated, turning back to the griddle. My own yami came running in and set a record time for buttering his syruping and his own pancakes. Malik came bouncing (again with the word, I just can't think of anything better) into the room and latched onto Marik.

" Can I try a bite, please?" he asked. Marik held up a bite on his fork and Malik snatched it with his mouth. I watched him swallow and make a face. " I don't think I like banana pancakes." Both the present yamis stared at him as though he had suddenly sprouted a second head.

_Pretend like it's the weekend now_

_And we could pretend it all the time_

_Can't you see that it's just rainin'_

_There ain't no need to go outside._

_But just maybe, hala ka ulelele_

_Mama made a baby,_

_I really don't mind the practice_

_Cause you're my little lady_

_Lady, lady, love me_

_Cause I love to lay here lazy_

_We could close the curtains_

Pretend like there's no worries outside 

" Don't worry, Malik, I made you some with strawberries." I said, setting the plate in front of him. I was rewarded by a very enthusiastic hug. Strawberries were Malik's favorite.

" Yay! Ryou is so good to me!" he cried. I smiled as I watched him attack his food.

As I said. Unpredictable, psychotic, random, bizarre, weird… But never uneventful.

As I watched Malik, I thought back to his storm of pain and tears the week before. Malik is the kind of person who never does anything halfway. If Malik wants strawberry pancakes, he has enough to feed a small country. If Malik likes an author, he buys all the books by that author. If Malik likes a song, he finds the name of the singer and buys every single CD by that singer. If Malik is happy, then everyone and everything with eyes and ears is completely aware of it. He jumps and yells and hugs people and makes a general ruckus. But if Malik is sad… You can't help but know when Malik is sad. The lack of noise is enough to set off alarm bells. That, and Malik can't hide what he's feeling worth a damn. The only thing I've ever seen him successfully hide is his attraction to my yami. Speaking of the other me… He was blissfully unaware of the longing looks Malik cast him when he thought no one was watching. He was unaware of the color that rose in Malik's cheeks when he did something flirtatious. Or, if he was aware, then he was being even more cruel than I thought he could be. He didn't seem to be aware, though, of the way Malik hung off his every word. It pained me. It pained me in a way I never would have thought it would. Naturally, I hurt for my own yami who would eventually become aware of Malik's attraction and be faced with a rather cruel decision. I also hurt for Malik, knowing that this would inevitably lead to his complete and total heartbreak. But also, way back in the very back of my mind and heart… I also felt just a tiny bit jealous. A very, very tiny bit, but jealous nonetheless. But there was no way Malik could have known that… I never told anyone, and thankfully, neither did Bakura. And if Malik had known, somehow, I doubted he would have allowed himself to develop feelings for my yami. Malik is very considerate of those around him, and very, very loving to the people he cares for.

I got stuck doing the dishes, of course, while Malik went up to his room and my yami went out for some reason he chose not to disclose and Marik settled into "his" recliner (actually, it belonged to my dad, but it was much to big for me and my yami shunned anything associated with my father, and good luck getting Malik to stay sitting for any amount of time, so Marik claimed it) to watch TV. After I finished the dishes, I went into the living room and sat on the arm of the recliner, listening to it groan in protest while Marik sniffed.

" You smell like dish soap." He told me.

" That's because I just did all your dishes." I said. Marik smirked, still watching the TV.

" You're such a housewife, Ryou."

" I am no such thing." I calmly retorted while the tan yami chuckled. " What are you watching?"

" I don't know. Sounds English, and the English I know is way different." He told me.

" It's American." I told him.

" And that would be why I can't understand a bloody word. Gods above, they mutilated that language." He muttered, shaking his head.

" When did you learn to speak English?" I asked. I'd never really gotten the chance to really get to know Marik. He'd always been the kind of obscure big-brother figure in the background. He really reminded me of a big brother, calmly watching all our lives and predicting what would happen next and occasionally manipulating the situation to better benefit one of us, particularly Malik.

" I don't fucking know, hikari." Marik said loosely. His words would have told me to shut up, but his tone was warm and comforting, like he was pleased with my interest. " Couple centuries back, I guess. You're the one that taught me… I never was good with dates… I can't remember what year it was."

" A couple of centuries ago, English would have been radically different than it is now." I said. Marik made a noise in his throat and reached up, wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me off the arm of the chair into his lap. I looked up into his smiling eyes, a little afraid and more than a little confused.

" That's what sucks about being immortal. Things always change." He told me softly. " Except for you, and Malik and Yugi. You three stay the same." He paused and nuzzled my hair. " So soft… It's good to know that no matter how much things change, you'll always be just like I remember you. It's comforting. So sweet and understanding… You worry too much, little Ryou."

" I do?" I asked, unable to stop my self from leaning into his gentle nuzzles and caresses and purring just a little. There wasn't anything seductive or romantic about it. Malik had told me Marik sometimes acted like this. Soft and cuddly. I thought of Malik telling me that he just needed someone to hold onto. I supposed that everyone needs someone to hold onto, sometimes.

" Yes, you do. Don't fret your pretty little head and don't break your fragile little heart. Malik will work his way through it, he always does." Marik told me, nudging his nose against my cheek. I pushed back against him, returning his gentle caresses for my own as I looked up into his eyes questioningly. " Yes, I know. I always know with Malik. He's starved for love, the poor child, and it's gotten so that he's wanting the kind of love I simply can't give him." He explained to me. " Bakura has been kind to him. That's new to my poor hikari. He misinterpreted it. Yes, Malik will eventually be hurt, and yes, Bakura will eventually have to hurt him. Yes, it's painful to watch, and yes, I want to do something to prevent it or make it a little easier for them both just as much as you. But neither of us can. It isn't our place, it's not our hearts, not our lives. This is something Malik has to work through on his own, and he will, and he'll come out on the other side no worse for the wear. A little wiser, but not scarred."

" And what about Bakura?" I asked. I knew Malik would be alright; he was resilient. But my yami had already suffered so much…

" Bakura… his pain is a little more complex." Marik said, wincing as though pained. " There are things that have made all this bearable for each of us. For me, it was you hikaris. All three of you are my greatest joy, and watching you grow and learn and love has been my blessing, and I thank the gods for it every day. It's only recently that I've remember how much I love watching you three." I smiled into his warm eyes. " This has not been a good life for any of us. Other lives, other places, other times… it's been easier. This has been the hardest. Amsterdam was the best. A whole lifetime of just the six of us, going where we wanted when we wanted. Bakura, Yami, and I… we all remembered everything there was to remember. I knew more about myself then than I do now. And you three… You had the prettiest blue eyes, Ryou, and Malik and Yugi didn't look too much different than they do now, but Yugi was a redhead with green eyes. Malik was a little paler. A whole life. But… There was a plague. Malik was the first to go." I watched as Marik's face seemed to collapse in the remembered pain. " I don't remember much after that, it all got so hazy. But the plague was bad. The people who caught it died horrible deaths, screaming in agony. I'll never forget the screams… Malik's screams. My precious little hikari's screams. Even in the shadows, I never forgot those screams. You died soon after… But you didn't catch the plague. You just kind of gave up. Bakura kept you alive as long as he could but… Then Yami died, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Bakura went mad. Yami died from the plague, but when he died, Bakura screamed instead. Yami didn't scream, not once. He whimpered, cried out, even moaned, but never screamed. I never thought I'd see the day when the King of Thieves screamed like that. I never wanted to. People were desperate, things were so bad, and a man came up and tried to steal Yami's clothes and Bakura attacked him… I don't remember, I think that's what happened. Somehow or another, I wound up getting stabbed, and that was how I died. Yugi died just after me, I think he committed suicide. Bakura was the last one to survive. I don't know what happened. After I remember Amsterdam at all… You see, the plague was so horrible that it clogged our memories. I don't remember everything anymore. Yami remembers only that precious little we managed to recover. But Bakura… Somehow or another, that sadistic yami of your remembered every single awful thing there was to remember, and it fucked him up. He's coming back, back to how he used to be, but it was only after I started to remember things. After I remembered what happened in Amsterdam, I tried to ask Bakura what happened, but he wouldn't talk about it. You see… Yami and Bakura were in love." I mulled this over; I wasn't all that surprised.

" I always though he acted weird around Yami." I said. Marik laughed.

" Crazy little bastard. Yeah, he does. For a while, though, all he remembered was the bad shit. The stuff about Egypt and Kul Elna were all he knew, and that was all he cared about… Revenge. To carry out the wish of the man who split his soul to give birth to you and Bakura. But that man was more than the negativity that resided in Bakura, he realizes this now. That man had other emotions, love and compassion and humor… He must have really liked to cook." I grinned. " And Bakura knows now that to ignore those emotions would be to dishonor the memory of a man who, if nothing else can be said of him, was great. He did great things. Some terrible, some wonderful, but great things. My memories of Egypt still need to be recovered. But, after Egypt, somewhere in the number of lives we've had since then, Yami and Bakura managed to overcome their past and fall in love. What happened in Amsterdam was beyond anyone's control, but… In the course of a few weeks, a relationship that took thousands of years to build was utterly wiped out. Yami doesn't remember any of it, now, but Bakura does. It hurts him."

" I suppose he can't just tell Yami. That'd be too easy." I grumbled, curling closer to Marik and burying my face in his neck.

" Not only that, but do you think Yami would believe him?" Marik asked, smoothing my hair.

" No, I suppose not." I conceded.

" It's a conclusion about one's life that one must come to all by one's self. Love is, I mean." Marik told me as I sat up and looked him in the eye. " It's not something you can define to anyone else. Only you, yourself, can know what it means to be in love. No one else can tell you. If Bakura were to tell Yami that they were in love once, Yami would immediately be on the defensive. How dare Bakura do that? It infringes on every right Yami has as a human being. His free will, his right to pursue happiness… everything. Bakura would be trying to force a past on Yami that Yami doesn't remember, and so, as far as Yami is concerned, isn't real. On the other hand, if Bakura were to confess his love to Yami, leaving past events out entirely for the moment, Yami would just be confused. He might push Bakura away, he might accept him just to avoid hurting him… either way would turn out painfully for all involved parties. Of course, human beings are unpredictable, but Yami, being Yami, has a limited number of reactions to any given situation. But, I digress. The point is that love is an answer to its own question. You can't put a label on it, or a price tag, and you can't force it on someone. You have to come to that conclusion all on your own. You alone can decide what it means, how much it's worth, how far you're willing to go in its name. In essence, you can't truly love someone else until you truly know and understand yourself."

" Does Bakura not truly know himself?" I asked.

" He did, but he lost himself in Amsterdam. I think a lot of him died with you and Yami." Marik mused. " But, little hikari, such thoughts are for philosophers, not for a yami and a hikari not his own. It's nice outside, care to come for a walk? We'll talk of cabbage and kings." He offered me. I smiled and slid off his lap.

" No, thank you. I really should get started dusting. Thank you, though. I'd love to talk about cabbage and kinds with you some time." I said. Marik laughed.

" I knew you'd get that allusion, Ryou." He noted, turning toward the door.

" Marik?" I called after him, and he turned back to me.

" Yes, little one?" he responded gently.

" Do you really know yourself?" I asked.

" No." Marik answered, smiling softly at me. " But I'm learning."

" Does Malik?" I asked.

" Most definitely not." Marik said with a chuckle, turning and heading out the door, closing it with a resolute slam.

" Do I know myself?" I asked the empty room. " Probably not." I answered myself. I wasn't even sure what love was. I sighed and headed up the stairs to change find my dusting stuff. I don't keep it upstairs; I keep it downstairs in the kitchen. Which is why I was almost positive that it wasn't there. Nothing stays where it was put as long as Malik is around, especially cleaning things. Sure enough, I found the stuff under the bathroom sink. How or why it got there, I wasn't sure, nor was I asking. On my way back downstairs, I stopped and rapped softly on Malik's bedroom door. Funny. He'd only been there a week and I already thought of it as his room.

" Come on in." Malik called. I answered by turning the door knob. Malik was laying on his back, hands behind his head, on his bed, listening some really mellow music.

_And we could pretend it all the time_

_Can't you see that it's just raining_

_There ain't no need to go outside_

_Ain't no need, ain't no need,_

_Can't you see, can't you see_

Rain all day and I don't mind 

" Hey, Ryou." Malik said, smiling at me. His smile seemed a little strained. I remembered Marik telling me not to worry, and I tried not to.

" Hi, Malik, I was wondering if you wanted to help me dust?" I asked. Normally, I wouldn't have bothered asking anyone for help. But Malik is not normal.

" Dusting? Alright! Of course! Tell me where to start!" he jumped off his bed and hopping excitedly in front of me. I smiled at him. Only Malik would get so excited about dusting. I only asked him because he would actually feel left out if I didn't.

" Why don't we start in the living room?" I asked him. I wondered why I felt so warm when he smiled that smile, the real smile. The smile that said he was truly happy, not just pretending for the sake of the people around him.

" Okay!" he squealed, grabbing a rag from my outstretched hand and running down the stairs. I followed him at a slower pace, only to be tackled into a hug at the bottom of the stairs.

" Ryou really is so good to me!" Malik squealed, squeezing me a little too enthusiastically. " You're so awesome, Ryou! You really are good for me! I haven't been this happy in so long! I love you, Ryou!" and with that said, Malik Ishtar kissed me full on the mouth, put me down, and went skipping into the living room. I knew that Middle Eastern culture was a little different from British culture where kissing was concerned. I wasn't sure if it was that different. I put two fingers to my lips and felt a thick red blush creeping up my neck. Surely, Malik didn't mean that the way I interpreted it. Malik is just a very, very friendly person, I told myself. Malik is a borderline flirt. That's just the way Malik is. He didn't mean anything by it. He didn't. Did he? And do I want him to?

I couldn't possible have a crush on Malik, could I?

_Telephone singing, ringing, it's too early_

_Don't pick it up_

_We don't need to_

_We got everything we need right here_

_And everything we need is enough_

_It's just so easy,_

_When the whole world fits inside of your arms_

_Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm_

_Wake up slow, wake up slow_


	4. Chapter 4

Downfall

By: Rogue Fox

A/N: Okay. I give. No reviews. :sigh: This makes me really sad. The only reason I'm still posting this is because of the really nice reviewers who were so nice to review and let me know what they think. Desidera, redconvoy, and the anonymous reviewer, thank you all very, very much. If you reviewed and I didn't mention you, I'm sorry, I just switched internet providers so my e-mail's a little weird. So, here's the next chapter. It's entirely in Malik's POV and this time the song is "Forever" by Vertical Horizon. Last time, the song was "Banana Pancakes," by Jack Johnson, I forget if I mentioned that. I am not promoting these artists, I'm only using the lyrics to set the mood. Think of it like how they play music in the background of a show or a movie to set the mood. I don't own YGO or anything like that, all I own is a bunch of CDs and some manga and… (counts) $2.82 and a whole bunch of textbooks. So there. I'm so sad about the review thing… By the way, I'm at 226 hits from 131 last chapter. Wow. I'm happy about that, but sad that no one likes it enough to review it. Maybe I should stop writing this one…

:Malik:

I don't know why I left the house that day. I guess I just needed to get away for a few hours or something. Everything seemed being moving slowly, agonizingly slowly, and everything I saw or smelled or heard reminded me of the painful, steady ache in my heart. I knew Ryou was doing everything he could to ease my pain, and my yami was carefully manipulating my dreams to give me deep, pleasant escapes. Bakura was the only one who didn't know anything, and that was the way I wanted to keep it.

The light turned green and I moved forward because the mass of people around me did, and I was just carried along by their momentum. No one gave me a second glance. I was just another teenager with tan skin and bright blonde hair and weird choice in clothes. Probably going through a phase. I stared at the sidewalk and kept walking. I wasn't sure where I was or where I was going, but I figured I would know when I got there.

As much as I wanted to smile everything away, to laugh and forget my pain, I could never make it disappear. It always came back, hurting just as badly as ever. I stopped walking and looked at the sky.

" Mother…" I whispered. Is this what you wanted for me? Are you proud of the son you died to bear now? Or are you ashamed? Perhaps… Perhaps I am ashamed of myself. Perhaps that was why I knew I would never be able to tell Bakura how I felt.

" Have your fortune told, sir?" a woman called to me. I turned and looked at her, long and hard. She was young and wearing a plain black dress.

" From you?" I asked, a little displeased. She was too young to know anything about fortune-telling, she was younger than me! And she had nothing with her. Her brown hair bobbed as she shook her head.

" No, my grandmother tells the fortunes. I just get the customers." She explained. I smiled at her then, the warmest smile I could muster, which still felt cold and awkward to me. She blushed though, and I hadn't meant to do that.

" Alright." I said, following her into a small shop. True enough, a elderly woman sat at a small table. The young girl I'd followed in gestured for me to sit, and I did.

" Would you like some tea?" the girl asked.

" He'll prefer coffee, the Arabic blend, Ayame." The old woman said before I could answer. " You are not Japanese." She said to me, then turned back to the girl. " No cream with two cubes sugar cubes… Am I right?"

" Yes, actually. Impressive." I said, making myself as comfortable as I could kneeling like that.

" You don't have to sit like that. I realize you're much more accustomed to sitting cross-legged." The fortune-teller said. I nodded my thanks and re-adjusted.

" It's rather obvious I'm not Japanese, but knowing my drink was a good touch." I commented her.

" It's not as obvious as you might think, what with hair dyes and tanning beds." The fortune-teller responded conversationally. " And your accent is almost imperceptible. Seven languages, right? Quite the linguist. A little less Mandarin in your accent, and you'll have it just right."

" Seven, that's right. I don't speak Mandarin though." I noted.

" No, but you do speak Chinese, which is Mandarin in root." Came the old woman's response. I grinned. " Still have doubts?"

" No." I answered. " I'm convinced."

" You have a great deal of experience in the occult, so it's not surprising that you were wary to begin with. These days, there are a great number of con artists." The old woman said. " And you know a few yourself, one of which is probably the greatest thief of all time." I stiffened a little. " Oh, don't worry, no names here. No names of any kind. Or ages. Or lives… Am I right, god of the sun?" the woman grinned at me. I smiled back.

" Good." I said.

" It's a good, strong name you've got. It gives you a great deal of spontaneity and joy, but also many cares." The woman continued. " But, you already know yourself and your past well enough, that will not be our focus. Today, there is someone who wishes you hear a message. It is one you have never known, and yet you have received the greatest gift from this person and this person has been with you all your life."

" Who?" I asked warily.

" One for whom you have a great longing and a great many questions. Not the least of which you asked only moments ago. 'Is this what you wanted for me?' Sound familiar?" the woman chuckled. I felt my eyes get wide. " Your mother died birthing you, and she has no regrets. You need not fear, your mother passed gracefully into the afterlife and has been well received. But she worries for you. So great was her want for a son that she birthed a desperate soul, one who would do anything to be born again. The two of you shared a common, desperate goal. She's missed you, Malik, and you her. Your mother has a great pride in her son. You did what none before you had the strength to do. You broke the chains of tradition and chased a new life. You bore a great burden and helped to bring about a new world order, and for that, your mother is prideful to a flaw of her son, her daughter, and the other you. The other you is the son she did not bear, but she loves him all the same.

" You must understand, Malik, that this pain in your heart is normal. People ache sometimes, that's the way it is. Your mother senses your shame, and wishes to remind you that your 'shame,' as you call it, is your mark as a son of the Tomb Keepers, a mark as the son she died to bear. It's a proud lineage you hail from, and a proud name you call your own. Your mother knows you are the last, and the name and the blood and the traditions will all die with you. You may pass on the story, but the line of Ishtar dies with you. And still your mother does not regret your birth. And still, she is proud of you.

" You have a great ache in you. You have cared for someone that has not returned your feelings. Instead, this person has unknowingly broken your heart by loving another. Your mother wishes you to know that love unspoken is love wasted, and that others are hurting while you are hurting. There is one that is meant for you alone, one that your soul has always found completion with. It is not the other you, but rather, some else that is close to you. If it is so difficult for you to speak with this person your heart aches for that you cannot tell them of your feelings, then it is not your one love with the one person that is meant for you. You are an open and carefree soul by nature, Malik, and you naturally find your way to one who you are free and open with, one with whom you know no inhibitions. This ache in your heart will pass and you will learn to bear your heritage with pride. These are only passing things. But this one person meant for you is aching as well, Malik, and you are not alone in your suffering. Your mother bids you to be mindful of your words and actions. Cautious steps are called for now. Tread carefully and speak softly, gently. There is one who is meant for you alone, and that one will need you soon. You must be ready.

" That ends our session, Malik. Your mothers wishes you well and gives you much love, and asks you to give your sister and the other you her greetings and love." The old woman said suddenly and I rocked backwards, soaking up her words. At some point, coffee in one of those plastic cups had been set before me.

" How… How much do I…?" I asked helplessly, at a loss for words.

" This time is free. It isn't often I meet someone one with such an interesting past and such a vast array of futures ahead of him." The woman said. " But the coffee is three hundred thirty-five yen." I laughed and handed the granddaughter some bills, and left after she gave me my change. I walked outside and looked up at the sky.

" Well. Thanks, Mother." I muttered, knowing now that she was listening.

_Take these roses off of me_

_Let me live let me be_

_Let my eyes_

_See everything and nothing in their time_

_I do not mind_

I found my way back home feeling better than when I left. The aching had subsided, and when I saw Bakura sprawled on the couch with my yami, both of them comfortably tangled together, I didn't flinch. I didn't feel my stomach flip or my chest tighten. I felt nothing but a deep, happy warmth. A pleased feeling. As though… I was happy he was there, but nothing more. Even if I would never have that relationship with him, I still cared about him. And suddenly, not having that relationship with him, him being with someone else, and me being alone… all that didn't seem so bad. Maybe it was the assurance that there was someone else that was just for me in the world.

_Who'd have guessed I'd ever learn_

_To let the walls around me burn_

_And light up the hillside_

_My words_

_I ate them for so long and nothing changed_

_It was just the same_

_And I don't know if you see me here_

_But I can tell you your face is clear_

_I will see you_

_Forever, forever_

_And I will see you_

_Forever, forever_

" Hello, hikari." Bakura called.

" Welcome home, Aibou. Have a nice walk?" my yami asked. I remembered when he was cold and mean. I hated him then. I walled myself inside a little corner of my own mind and hid from him. Now… Now he was kind and gentle and loving. I loved him now.

" Yes, I did. Thank you." I said happily. He looked over the couch at me suddenly, staring at me, scrutinizing me. Then, he looked pleased.

" Good. I'm glad. I'm really glad." He said, smiling at me. I smiled back.

" Me too." I said. Bakura looked at me as well, and no heat rose to my cheeks. I was glad of that. I didn't want to cling to something that wasn't there, and I felt that the message from my mother had only helped me to let go of something that I was only clinging to.

" Did I miss something?" Bakura asked.

" A whole drama production." My yami answered, and I smiled a little wider. Bakura grunted and muttered something to himself about psychotic Egyptians.

_ Call me close once again_

_Call me teacher call me friend_

_Just like the first time_

_Call my name_

_It echoes in the walls around this room_

_It's all you_

_And I don't know if you hear me there_

_But when it's darkest and no one cares_

_I will hear you_

_Forever, forever_

_And I will hear you_

_Forever, Forever_

I turned and walked to the stairs, noting the general cleanliness of the house and assuming it to be Ryou's work. I paused to look at the pictures on the wall by the stairs. There was an old one of a man and a woman who I assumed to be Ryou's parents on their wedding day. Then there was what looked a lot like a baby Ryou, followed by another baby with darker features. Then the two children together, older. I assumed the little girl was Ryou's baby sister, Amane. There was a family photograph in which Ryou looked no older than ten. And then… There were no more family pictures. There was, instead, a newer picture of Yugi and his friends with Ryou, all grinning in a wooded place. That must be Duelist Kingdom, I decided. And then there was a picture of all of us, all the duelists, right after Battle City, yamis and all. There was a lot of sloppy, adrenaline high grins and both Ryou and Bakura were sporting bloody bandages. Bakura looked a little high and Ryou looked kind of out of it. I was standing right next to Ryou, between him and my yami, my arm around Ryou's shoulders and a big grin on my face. The picture made me smile. There were other pictures, random snaps of Bakura and my yami wrestling and Ryou cooking, looking in shock over his shoulder. I'd taken that one, and framed it too. I was surprised Ryou hadn't taken it down. There was Yami and Yugi grinning at the camera, and another one of Jounouchi and Honda and Kaiba all working on a car while Mai, Anzu, and Isis all laid on the roof, watching the guys in mild interest. I laughed a little. There was Isis and me and Marik, all of us looking overly happy. And then there was one of Ryou and Bakura, Ryou in the foreground with Bakura behind him, chin on the top of Ryou's head and arms looped over Ryou's chest. I liked Ryou's pictures. They made me feel really happy.

_And I wanted you to be_

_Everything to me_

_And now I've got to learn to carry on_

_And I know I cannot hide_

_This emptiness inside_

_But nothing is the same since you've gone_

I trailed my fingers over Ryou's mother's face. I wondered… what did my mother look like?

" Malik!" someone suddenly called. I looked up and saw Ryou coming down the stairs, smiling at me. " I didn't realize you were back. I'm just about to fix lunch, you want some?"

I didn't understand why, but suddenly, everything felt totally perfect to me. Ryou coming toward me, smiling at me, the feeling that my mother was near me, loving me, the knowledge my yami and sister and friends were all near and happy… It all just felt so perfect. And suddenly, I wanted Ryou to be near me, too. Right next to me. I wanted him to be right beside me, so I could share this happiness with him.

_Send me letters from above_

_Send me strength_

_Send me love_

_Such sweet love_

_Sing me songs_

_That echo in my head and in my heart_

_That's where you are_

" Yeah." I said, smiling softly at Ryou. " That'd be great."

" You okay?" Ryou asked softly, pausing at the last step as I stepped up to it. I smiled up into his eyes and resisted the urge to reach up and brush that soft hair from his eyes and stroke that pale cheek.

" Yeah. I'm great." I said quietly. " Really." I added, watching Ryou's concerned eyes. Those dark eyes melted into a warm brown with his smile.

" Good. I'm really glad." He said. And I was too.

_And I don't know if you feel me here_

_But I can tell you one thing is clear_

_I will feel you_

_Forever, forever_

_I will feel you_

_Forever, forever_

_And I will hear you_

_Forever, forever,_

_And I will see you_

_Forever, forever…_

_Take these roses off of me_

_Let me live, let me be_

- I actually went and checked this. Three hundred thirty-five yen is roughly three dollars, which is a pretty expensive cup of coffee, so I hope it was good coffee. But a fortune teller's shop seemed like the kind of place that would overcharge for the coffee, so…


	5. Chapter 5

Downfall

By: Rogue Fox

A/N: Well, sorry it took so long. I've been busy. I won't whine about reviews any more, I'm just going to see this through till the end for the people that have reviewed. So the POV switches toward the end, but it's marked, so there shouldn't be a problem. The song this time is "Until the Day I Die," by Story of the Year. It's a little harder than the past ones, but I figured something a little heavier and harder is due when one is writing in the POV if Yami Bakura. The next chapter is going to be back to soft, like normal. I don't own YGO – if I did, duels would few and far between, and all these couples would be the main focus, and Pegasus J. Crawford would die a horrific, gory death. Perhaps I should take over YGO, ne? Much love, and be a darling and review, if you would!

Oh, yeah, this chapter gets a little lime-ish, and the whole story is yaoi. Just so you know.

The sun was setting.

I love the sunsets. It doesn't matter how many times you see them, they're never the same. An Egyptian sunset is glorious, a Parisian sunset is romantic, a Greek sunset is philosophical, an Italian sunset means bring on the food. Every single time the sun sets you know that there won't be another like it, ever, ever again, and neither was there ever one like it before. I love sunsets. They remind me that no matter how many times I live and die, the sun will always set just as it always has and yet still manage to be different than all the times I've seen it before.

Change is an inevitable part of life. No matter how actively it is resisted, change comes. Nothing is ever the same as it was. So the few things that never do change, I adore. Like the color of Ryou's hair, or Yugi's eyes. Or how Malik laughs. Those things don't change, and I draw comfort from that.

Yami never changed either. Till Amsterdam. Everything changed after Amsterdam…

I pushed those thoughts away. Next to me, Marik sighed softly, his deep violet eyes glowing oddly in the late-afternoon golden glow, casting weird shadows on him. I stopped to watch him. Marik had changed, a little. When I'd first encountered him in this life, I had no idea we'd ever met before. He was an angry, vengeful, bitter, violent, homicidal maniac. The look on his face as he remembered things he'd forgotten, things like Malik playing as a child with Ryou and Yugi in a gorgeous oasis in some forgotten desert in some time long past, or things like fast-paced games of cat and mouse with me and Yami in the streets of Berlin back when Berlin was still a pleasant place to be, or lounging around a mountain lake and watching contentedly while the hikaris played on the shore. That look of utter rapture that had never left his face since, every time he looked at me or Yami or one of the hikaris. The look of joy that flitted through his eyes when Malik shrieked in laughter. That soft, contented look he got when one of the hikaris snuggled against him and he would pet them, coo at them and soothe them into a deep, happy sleep. I loved that look. Marik was never meant to be angry. He used to be happy. Malik's rage was what drove Marik over the edge, the final straw. Watching Malik die screaming in Amsterdam scarred Marik, but waking again to Malik's all-consuming bitterness, pain, and rage was the final blow. And it was Malik's smile and laughter that brought the torn fragments of the man I'd known and respected and loved as a friend and brother back from the edge of sanity. Slowly, he was clawing his way back to becoming what he was once before, just as I was. And that Marik could come back to me was a glimmer of hope that I was almost scared to hold for fear it would shatter and fade away. Because if Marik could come back, then maybe Yami could too…

I lied to Ryou, and I hate that. I hate my own weakness that kept me from admitting my pain to him, and I hated that I was willing to lie to him rather than face that weakness, because Yami was the one weakness I'd never been able to overcome. Yami had always been my weakness in one way or another… The only one I was second to, the only one who'd ever beaten me. The only one who'd ever tamed me. The only one who'd ever had me completely at his mercy, and the only one who would never, ever abuse that knowledge. Yami knew I was his, or had known. He knew I belonged to him solely, and that no matter what the consequences, I'd never abandon him. Even now, when he had no memory of me beyond that pathetic display in Egypt and knew nothing of what had happened after that, I still couldn't abandon him. There were times when he'd counted on my inability to leave him, and now, even now, I couldn't leave him behind. I still hoped, way down in some deep dark corner of my heart, that he would come back like Marik had come back. I prayed to any god with a sympathetic ear that I'd never live through that horror again. Bad enough, what happened in Amsterdam. Horrible enough to have to watch your lover, best friend, hikari, and the only other two people you'd ever loved or trusted die horrific deaths and be unable to stop it. Bad enough to be left totally alone. But to wake up again, and find that not only the hikaris don't remember (they never do, no surprise) but your companions who share in your curse don't remember you or each other or even their hikaris! Nothing! To remember it all, all the horror and pain, and still feel a fog in your head that tells you there is more that you've forgotten as well! The forgetting was worse than the plague. Far worse.

On my other side, Yami sat unaware of my torment, my memories. Sometimes I would think maybe something was clicking in his head, but I was afraid to hope… even more afraid that he might reject those memories, those stirrings within him. I cast a small look at him from the corner of my eye, admiring his regal profile. It was almost inbred into him, that ability to look majestic no matter what. I loved that about him… I shoved that thought away also.

" Bakura?" Yami asked suddenly. I looked at him fully, but he never met my gaze. He stared, almost determinedly at the sunset.

" Yeah?" I responded after a moment.

" Was there a time before this?" he asked.

" Of course." I answered evasively, too quickly. His eyes narrowed a little. I was evading him, and he knew it. Marik turned to watch us, his kind eyes burning into my back.

" When?" Yami asked. I couldn't answer him; I didn't know how. Marik was silent as well. " Sometimes I see things…" Yami continued after a moment. " Like remembering a dream or something… I'm never sure what's real and what's not. Maybe my mind is just inventing things. Maybe it's all my imagination, but I keep seeing things. When I close my eyes or when I listen to music or when I'm just about to fall asleep. I can't explain them, but they're familiar. It scares me, how familiar they are."

" I see things too." Marik confessed after a long moment during which Yami and I stared at each other and I tried to process what he was trying to tell me. " There are the things I remember, the things I know happened because I asked Bakura and he said it was true. But there are other things… Like you said, like remembering a realistic dream. I have trouble distinguishing what's real from the dreams. Some of them, I hope they're real. I want it to be real, and I'm not sure why, but I do. Others… I pray they aren't real." Marik shuddered. " I really, really, pray they're not."

" There were times that were like dreams." I said, looking over to Marik, and then back to Yami, meeting his gaze that asked me a million questions, and yet, I couldn't understand a single one. I used to be able to know his thoughts with a glance… " There were times when everything was so perfect… It was just us and the hikaris, and we had each other, and no one could take that from us. It was just the six of us… And for some reason, the fact that we're all cursed really didn't seem so important. I remember feeling blessed, that I would be able to live this paradise over and over again… But there were times that were like nightmares too." I paused and closed my eyes, a world almost more real than Yami's face by the fading golden sunlight suddenly blooming before me… Yami's sweat-drenched face, his lips parted and panting, eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy, gasping beneath me as I watched in utter rapture… and then that look of ecstasy faded into one of pain and horror, Malik's screams and Ryou's pleas in the background of a dream that had become a nightmare… I opened my eyes and looked at Yami, who was watching me with an expression I couldn't read. His eyes looked dull… It reminded me too keenly of the pain, the horror, the gasps and blood bubbling through the lips I had worshiped with my own.

" Why can't I remember, Bakura?" Yami asked. I looked away. How do you answer that? " I know you know." He accused. Marik shifted uneasily.

" I can't answer you." I said finally, my voice quiet and flat and defeated.

" Why?" Yami snapped accusingly.

" Because some questions have no right answers, Yami." Marik answered for me. " Sometimes, the greatest sacrifice anyone can ever make for you is not giving you what you want."

" What?" Yami asked, annoyed. I turned away from his accusing glare. I couldn't bear it.

_As years go by,_

_I race the clock with you_

_But if you die right now,_

_You know that I die too._

_(I die too)_

" Why'd you do that?" Yami asked, and I looked back at him. I froze when I saw his expression. That same, glazed, preoccupied look Marik got when some memory finally became clear. " Why'd you hug me like that?" he asked me, more wonder than anger in his voice.

What time? I wanted to ask. There were so many times that I held you to my chest and just thanked every god ever born that you were alive and that I could feel your heart thudding in you chest and you blood racing through you veins, so gloriously alive! You shared in my pain, and no matter how many times I died and was born again, you were there to welcome me! In the face of so much death, our own multiple deaths, in a world where the only absolute is death, where the only thing I could ever be sure of was that I would die sometime, you were my magnificent reminder of the glory of life! Oh, you would tell me "eat, drink, and be merry, lover, for tomorrow we die!" and I would answer you "and the day after, we are reborn to do it again!" Your heart beat was the most mesmerizing thing in the world, my own little pulsating treasure that just said "hold me, kiss me, make sweet, sweet love to me, because I am alive!" Just the thud of your heartbeat told me that it was no curse I was trapped in, but a blessing, to live, to love, and to learn that which most only experience once. That beat filled me with the resolve that you depended on me for so much, and that I depended on you, gods bless you, my sweet sovereign. So many, sweet, sweet memories, all torn so rudely from my heart…

_You remind me of the time_

_When I knew who I was_

_But still the second hand_

_Will catch us_

_Just like it always does._

_We'll make the same mistakes,_

_I'll take the fall for you_

_I hope you need this now_

_Cause I know I still do_

And this was the part I'd feared. That day that, if it ever came, he would remember something like that and then would come the awkward silences. I was never good at things like this, but I didn't know what else to do. I just stared back at him for a long moment and then turned, and walked away. He didn't try to stop me, nor did Marik. They just watched. And I walked off, utterly alone. I hate being alone.

_Until the day I die_

_(Until the day I die)_

_I'll spill my heart for you_

_Until the day I die_

_(Until the day I die)_

_I'll spill my heart for you_

I didn't think. I didn't want to. If I thought, then that made it real, and if it was real… Ryou needed me still. I couldn't leave him behind. Ryou kept me real. Gods bless that little bundle of joy, the light of my life. Even now, in the midst of this nightmare, I praise the gods for the blessing of being able to watch him grow into the calm, level, wonderful man he's become, and watch him always make the same mistakes and the same decisions and learn from those mistakes. Even now, I drew comfort from the fact that Ryou's hair was still white and smelled vaguely of flowers and smiled that smile when I came into the room. Even now, I knew, I was watching the beginnings of that age-old courtship that never got old… It would be different this time, there were circumstances… Neither of them were pure and clean. It would be more complicated this time. But the result would be the same.

" Bakura!" I recognized the voice that called out to me, but I didn't stop. If there was one thing I just couldn't deal with right then, it was Yami's rejection. That was one thing I just couldn't face. Not now, not ever. " Bakura, wait up, will you!" I stopped. Couldn't help it. I tried to make my feet move again, but they wouldn't. So I just held still. I didn't turn around. I didn't move. I barely breathed. I could hear him run up behind me, double over, and gasp for a minute. " Gods, I'm so out of shape…" he muttered, then stood up. I could hear his still ragged breath, and I could feel his angry glare at my back. Gods, please, anything but this… " You…" Yami said, and why in the world was his voice shaking like that? " You… you… You stupid tomb robber!"

I didn't know why, but a pair of arms went around my torso and a face was suddenly buried against my back, making my shirt wet. I closed my eyes and sighed. Thank you… I whispered mentally, then wheeled around and grabbed that idiotic Pharaoh and pressed him as close to my chest as I could while he sobbed and hiccupped.

_Should I bite my tongue_

_Till blood soaks my shirt_

_We'll never fall apart_

_So tell me why this hurts_

_So much_

_My hands are at your throat_

_And I think I hate you_

_But still we'll say_

"_Remember when"_

_Just like we always do_

_(Just like we always do)_

_Until the day I die_

_(Until the day I die)_

_I'll spill my heart for you_

_Until the day I die_

_(Until the day I die)_

_I'll spill my heart for you_

" You're so stupid." Yami whispered to me. I ignored him, grabbing his chin and smashing my lips to his, forcing my tongue into his mouth and tasting him.

" Gods, I've missed you so much!" I moaned, burying my face against his neck and planting kisses there, licking and sucking that little sensitive patch of skin that I remembered so clearly. He gasped, threading his fingers through my hair and gripping hard.

" I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" he gasped, pushing his hands up my shirt. The feel of his bare hands meeting my skin was almost enough to make me climax right there in the street.

" It wasn't your fault, forget it… Gods… just forget it… It was a nightmare, love, just a nightmare…" I managed to groan.

" Let's go back to my place." Yami gasped as my hands drifted downwards.

" Yeah, okay." I answered almost too quickly, grasping his hand in mine and taking off down the street.

" Uh, the other way, Bakura!" Yami yelled.

" Oh, oops!" I ground to a halt and turned around, dragging a madly laughing Yami with me.

I was so happy to not be alone anymore.

_My hands are at your throat,_

_And I think I hate you_

_We made the same mistakes,_

_Mistakes like friends do_

_My hands are at your throat_

_And I think I hate you_

_We made the same mistakes_

_(The same mistakes)_

We ran back to the game shop and sped up the stairs. Before we got to the room, and I turned and pinned him to the wall, shoving a knee between his legs and pressing my body to his, earning the most delightful moan. Gods how I missed his voice, and his fingers, threading through my hair and massaging my scalp, and that sweet soft cheek that pressed to my forehead as I sucked at his neck mercilessly.

" Are you sure? What about the old man?" I asked, my voice coming out low and husky.

" He's visiting a friend in… oh gods… some other place…" my precious sovereign managed to get out, unable to stifle a moan as I grazed my teeth against his skin. My hands were practically twitching, begging to touch that lithe, writhing body beneath me.

" But are you sure?" I asked, my breath hitching in my throat as he grabbed me by the ass and ground our hips together. I exhaled slowly, feeling blood pumping down there as arousal met arousal.

" That answer your question?" he asked hoarsely.

" No. That's your body. I want to know if you, yourself, are sure." I said surprising myself. Here I was, pinning the obviously aroused object of my deepest affections to a wall, with him willing and compliant to my touch and pursuit and knowing he would willingly do whatever I wanted, and I was asking gods-damned questions!

" This has happened before, hasn't it? You've asked me this before." He whispered in my ear, his hot breath blowing over it and making me shiver. " Do you always ask me before the first time?"

" Always. Just want to be sure… Just want you to be sure…" I whispered.

" I am sure." Came his quiet response. I pressed my mouth to his, hungrily exploring the hot, wet cave that waited. Electricity seared down my spine and made my knees quiver. I wanted him so badly… I'd missed him so much…

" I need you." I whispered, pulling him as close to me as I could, relishing in the heat his body put off. " I missed you so much…"

" I missed you too, and I didn't even realize what it was I was missing!" my precious sovereign giggled, gripping me close and I nudged the side of his neck with my nose. A smile passed over my lips.

" Alright, are you sure? If we go in that room, you won't be walking out right." I asked. He nodded.

" I'm sure." He repeated. I pulled him into a searing kiss, my hand searching behind me to find the door knob. Finally, I managed to find it and push it open roughly. Yami was utterly unaware of my actions, and I kept it that way by engaging him in a battle for dominance with my tongue. I swept my hands downwards over his ass and lifted him upward, grinning wolfishly with pleasure as he instinctively wrapped his legs around my waist and his growing arousal rubbed against mine. I halfway wanted to stay right there and explore that position, but this was the first time in this life. He deserved to have it done right. So I hefted him closer to me, carrying him into the room and kicking the door shut behind me. He, in turn, wrapped his arms around my neck and hauled himself up to continue battling for dominance.

We landed on the bed with a heavy thud.

" Ow…" Yami groaned.

" Sorry." I apologized, kissing his nose before nibbling on his lower lip.

" Make it up to me." Yami growled aggressively. I grinned.

" With pleasure, my beautiful sovereign." I whispered, engaging him yet again in a passionate kiss while my hands worked nimbly at his top. I'd had it with all this clothing, I needed to feel some skin! The clothing peeled off and I worshipped his skin with my lips, reveling in the soft, creamy beauty and the sinfully beautiful sound of his breathy moans.

Gods, is it wrong to be cursed and feel so blessed?

:Ryou's POV:

Malik and I were engaged in a very heated round of Dead or Alive 3 when Marik came home, slamming the door behind him like he always did.

" Watch out Ryou! Ooh, do a high kick, a high kick! Yeah! Take that, Malik!" Isis cheered on the couch behind us.

" K.O." the TV told us in that deep voice that was a little creepy.

" Isis, I'm your brother! Shouldn't you be cheering me on!" Malik whined while I flopped on my back and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand.

" You may be my brother, but Ryou cooks." Isis said with an air of finality, as though my cooking explained everything.

" Are you okay, hikari?" a deep, rumbly voice asked me. I looked up at Marik, who was looming over me.

" Yeah, these things just hurt my eyes after a while." I said. " Where are Yami and Bakura?"

" Probably off having fun." Marik said, grinning slyly.

" Fun? Together?" Isis asked, kicking Malik, who was attempting to lunge at her and foaming at the mouth, away from her. " Are either one of them drugged?"

" Not exactly." Marik drawled. Just then, Yugi came in. He'd been in the bathroom.

" Oh, who won?" he asked.

" Ryou did." Malik grumped.

" I knew it." Yugi said, grinning while Malik gave him a sultry glare.

" Hey, don't go home any time soon, okay, little one?" Marik said nonchalantly.

" Why?" Yugi asked. " Did I miss something?"

" Apparently, Yami and Bakura are 'having fun.'" I said, frowning. Yugi cocked his head thoughtfully.

" Sounds like one of them might get hurt." He muttered.

" Something like that." Marik said, with a snort of laughter.

" Alright, psychopath, what's going on?" Malik asked.

" I don't know." Marik said, smiling and shrugging innocently. Unfortunately for Marik, innocent is not something he can pull off very easy.

" Whatever." Malik sniffed. " Spill it."

" I really don't. Not for sure, anyway." Marik said, wincing while Malik, Yugi and I glared at him. " Geez, you three really know how to shove a guy around. Let's just say that it's gonna be interesting to see who comes back limping."

" What?" All three of us asked.

" I don't get it." I said.

" Me neither." Yugi whined.

" Me neither." Malik agreed. Marik came over to me and kissed my forehead, then repeated the motion with Malik and Yugi. Yugi blushed profusely, but neither Malik nor I were fazed. Just even more perplexed.

" That's okay. You'll get it someday. Someday soon." He promised us.

" Oh!" Isis suddenly gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth and turning bright red. " Oh." She muttered. Marik laughed.

" Yeah. Oh." He agreed.

" I don't get it, what's 'oh?'" Malik persisted.

" Yeah!" Yugi and I chimed in. Marik just shook his head.

" I'm taking a shower." He announced, starting towards the downstairs bathroom he and Isis shared.

" But Marik! What's 'oh!'" three voices trailed after him, making him guffaw loudly.

_Until the day I die_

_(Until the day I die)_

_I'll spill my heart for you_

_Until the day I die_

_(Until the day I die)_

_I'll spill my heart for you_


End file.
